Reading the Self

Reading the Self

Past, Present, Future: Reversed

Past, Present, Future: Upright

    For this final portrait, I decided to turn to Tarot in order to focus on the representation of self. Tarot readings are intended to provide insight and to enable people to reflect on themselves and their relationships to others. I used Tarot in this project to mimic a three card spread of past, present, future in order to represent my perspective of myself throughout my life thus far, and what I believe may be in store in the future, as well as the possible perspective of the viewer reading the spread and their interpretation of me. Just as Finkelstein states that "the idea of personal identity becomes synonymous with the art of thinking about oneself in the social world," I used Tarot to explain myself and how I perceive my own identity in the past, present, and future, particularly in the way I tend to interact with others and how outside events shape my identity (136). I created these cards by using a digital drawing program, as I previously have never used such a program before to create something. I based the cards on photos I have, with The Fool being a childhood photo of mine, The Moon being a photo of the moon I took, and Death being a photo of historical remains in a park in the Dominican Republic. As Debord states, "The spectacle is not a collection of images, but a social relation among people, mediated by images," so I used these representations of the cards, these images, to describe myself as I perceive my relationships to myself and other people (4). I outlined these photos in order to create a more minimalistic style, one inspired by a tattoo style I adore and that one of my favorite tattoo artists, Teddy Xiong, favors in her works. I took a photo of myself seated before the cards, partially invoking the work of Carrie Mae Weems's Kitchen Table Series, particularly that of the woman playing solitaire. That photo in particular portrayed her as enjoying her time in solitude, enjoying the pleasures in life with a quiet moment for herself. I wanted to do the same, and add a moment of reflection for myself as I analyze my life thus far. Additionally, I wanted to invoke some aspect of the Kitchen Table Series in this project as it told the story of a woman through time, much like I wanted to do with the Tarot cards, as "Weems’s black-and-white photographs are like mirrors, each reflecting a collective experience: how selfhood shifts through passage of time; the sudden distance between people, both passable and impassable; the roles that women accumulate and oscillate between; how life emanates from the small space we occupy in the world" (Palumbo). This project differs from the previous few self-portrait projects in both medium and execution, as previous projects were primarily on paper and served to directly mimic the works I took inspiration from, this one was primarily digital and I attempted to make it more of my own in design. Instead of replicating typical Tarot designs I decided to consult the captured moments from my own life, to make it connect to myself more. One common theme in all three works is the use of hibiscuses, since they are my favorite flower and have become a sort of staple in my works over the semester. 

    I consulted Labyrinthos for the meaning of the cards I recreated in this project. In the photo, all the cards appear reversed to me, demonstrating how I tend to view myself throughout my life in a more self critical way. The negative aspects of these cards are on display to me, showing how I view myself from a more pessimistic standpoint. To the viewer, the cards are upright, demonstrating a more realistic interpretation of the person I am, from an unbiased point of view. 

The Fool: beginnings, freedom, innocence, originality, adventure, idealism, spontaneity (upright); reckless, careless, distracted, naive, foolish, gullible, stale, dull (reversed) 

The Moon: illusion, intuition, uncertainty, confusion, complexity, secrets, unconscious (upright); fear, deception, anxiety, misunderstanding, misinterpretation, clarity, understanding (reversed)

Death: transformation, endings, change, transition, letting go, release (upright); fear of change, repeating negative patterns, resisting change, stagnancy, decay (reversed)

Works Cited

Debord, Guy. “The Society of the Spectacle.” The Situationist International Text Library, library.nothingness.org/articles/SI/en/display/16.

Finkelstein, Joanne. The Art of Self Invention: Image and Identity in Popular Visual Culture. I.B. Tauris, 2007.

Palumbo, Jacqui. Why Carrie Mae Weems's "Kitchen Table Series" Is a Landmark of Contemporary Art. 19 Aug. 2020, www.artsy.net/article/artsy-editorial-revisiting-carrie-mae-weemss-landmark-kitchen-table-series.